7 or so habits of people who need to Chill Winstan a little more

Brooke McAlary in her Epheriell Designs blog “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective and Chilled Out People” (http://epherielldesigns.com/the-seven-habits-of-highly-effective-and-chilled-out-people) terms highly effective and chilled out people as “HECOs”. In line with this naming convention, we will aptly call people who need to Chill Winstan a little more “CWALMs”.

As CWALMs are so easily identifiable and everybody (even the odd CWALM) can add to this list of habits (ranging from slight to outrageous), the first CWALM habit is the closed list habit (which, of course, is not a closed list!). CWALMs like to think of most things in life as a closed list, perhaps even finite. Just like a closed list of habits – 7, not 8 or 6, but 7. Note that our list of “7 or so habits” is not a CWALM list – anything can happen and we would not want to rename our list of 7 to our list of 8. Anyway, back to CWALMs and closed lists. Inviting only so many people to dinner as will fit around your dining room table or for whom you have enough of those unstained wine glasses (all of the same size and one for red and one for white wine, of course) is a common CWALM closed list habit. The closed list of chair numbers and unstained wine glasses is, in fact, not closed – people can be squeezed a little and, if need be, most HECOs will drink wine out of a water (or dare we say whiskey) glass - provided the CWALM has invited a HECO. A few perfectly timed seconds after the last diner at this perfectly matched CWALM dinner puts down his/her knife and fork, the CWALM will begin to clear plates and clean the kitchen – even time is a closed list and, despite interesting conversation, cleaning must commence immediately. We say CWALM down and Chill Winstan, nobody needs dessert straight away!

Another CWALM habit is getting worked up for no apparent reason. If I sneak my car in front of a CWALM as they slowly roll up to a red traffic light, there’ll be a hoot generally accompanied by another sign of disgust, whether it be the oh-so-common head shake, the arm waive or the clear mouthing of a swear word. Chill Winstan! The traffic light is red, remember?

Number three must be the CWALM habit of using hand sanitiser. CWALMs find it extremely difficult, if not impossible, to realise that not using hand sanitiser after touching a foreign object (including a terribly germ infested hand) will not result in hospitalisation of the CWALM. HECOs (who do not waste their time and money on hand sanitiser) do not have a lower life expectancy. HECOs simply don’t allow clever marketing campaigns to drive the fear of the germ into them. In fact, not using hand sanitiser cannot even be described as a calculated risk – it is not a risk, it is simply being rational. After all, what doesn’t kill a CWALM will only make him stronger (or more like a HECO).

Ordering a burger without the bun comes in as CWALM habit number four. Contentious, we know. But listen Winstan, it’s just not a burger without the bun.

The fifth CWALM habit is notorious advance planning. Booked up every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday for breakfast, brunch, lunch, coffee and dinner? Yes? You’re a CWALM. A good start to Chilling Winstan is to let Friday approach with nothing planned. Scary, we get it.

Trying to please everybody all of the time is CWALM habit number 6. It’s just not possible CWALM. Generally, people are surprisingly Chilled Winstan and won’t defriend you on Facebook for not congratulating them after they post a picture of their healthy breakfast accompanied by the important piece of information that they have just been for a run.

CWALM habit number seven is forgetting to smell the flowers – probably because the flowers are store-bought and don’t actually smell. It’s totally cool to sit and do nothing sometimes, not to be bored, but to Chill Winstan, lie in the sun, read a book and catch a tan. Summer is almost here CWALM, so just CWALM down and Chill Winstan!

We would really like to hear from you and see your additions to our open list of habits.